Love can happen at any time, many a times with the same person with an intensity growing everytime......as one discovers to a great amazement about its unfolding selfless nature, as one learns to open the inner eyes wider everytime and be overwhelmed by its purity......

Eccentric as I have always been, against all wiser counsel from family and friends and logic as well, I desired to settle down in Jaipur in my mid sixties away from a familiar background and a safe family haven to a far off city like Jaipur... Rather late in the day with health issues more likely to crop up to be fended by self and ageing life partner.

Between us, somehow I have managed to establish with my rudimentary astrological knowledge, rightly or wrongly, that I would be the one to exit first and Daxa would have to follow.

That would make her live alone in a city far away from the family and the very thought immediately appeared selfish and cruel to me...and must have been scary to her.

So though I did express my desire with all logic and what not arguments to support it, even against my own premonition years ago, I never enforced it and took minutest of her views on this matter very sincerely and seriously.

After much discussion and against her own wish she agreed to my craziness and I realised it was just because she loved me and wanted me to be happy.....her insecurities with new life and life after me be damned.

I twice told her to think again but she was firm now and we started making the next logical move. That's the time I fell in love with her again not because she agreed but because she sacrificed so much for me....I seem to have rediscovered the depth of her love for me......

I often cry in my heart, wondering what would happen to her when I am no more and how she would live her life.

She always used to tell me "I love you more than you do" and like a small girl expand her arms sideways for measure....... Today I couldn't agree with her more, feeling like a selfish man blessed with a selfless wife.....

While this does not change the decision to migrate some realization comes to fore.
Yes the beauty of marriage is better perceived as it matures more..... And one realizes to great amazement, how expansive is the love of one's wife.... making you feel humbled by its sheer purity and magnificent magnitude...

I can read this all when I look into her eyes.... How can you then not fall in love with the same person again....... ?

Written after taking a final call on migrating to Jaipur

10/11/2017